The Cost of Cowardice
by angelique21
Summary: She made him want to be a better man, but he lets his fear rule him. He tells himself that it's for her own good...


**This story was written for the LM/HG exchange at livejournal. It was written for vagabond_74 with the prompt: Lucius working under Hermione. Must include French Mastiff and pitcher of mojitos. I hope you enjoy it and will leave a review to let me know what you think. No flaming please, if you don't like, don't read. Fanfiction is written for fun so please take it as such. =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any of the other characters created by the wonderful J K Rowling. Nor do I make any money from the writing of this fanfiction. **

When the war ended the light side came up the victor and all Death Eaters who had survived being captured.

The Ministry, in its infinite wisdom, decided that all Death Eaters who wished to enter into Wizarding society again must work under Muggleborns. Of course, you could imagine the response from the Purebloods.

Lucius Malfoy sat regally upon his chair in the Death Eater Rehabilitation Division of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement waiting for his caseworker to arrive. He was not at all pleased that he was forced to give up his wand and work under the very people he had tried to eradicate all those years. Of course though, he had no choice in the matter and his fortune, for once, could not buy his freedom.

As he waited, he went over the list of Muggleborns he knew of and wondered who he would be assigned to and what exactly they would have him do.

He looked down at his wrist and glared at the bracelet he was forced to wear. It looked like a fashionable gold chain, but felt like shackles. It kept his magic dormant. He couldn't even cast a simple wandless Scourgify. Being forced to live as a muggle was so beneath a Malfoy.

"Lucius Malfoy," a sickly sweet voice called from the nearest doorway. He glanced up and forced a faint smile at the squat woman. He stood and walked towards her and entered her office.

He brushed the chair seat before sitting down and giving her his full attention. He had to remind himself it was only a year.

She placed a thick folder on the desk and opened it, shifting papers about until she came to the form she needed. "Ah, here it is." She placed the paper in front of him and handed him a quill and inkpot. "Just sign where indicated."

He glanced at the quill she held in front of his face, not even daring to touch it. "I wish to look over this contract before signing, if you don't mind."

She smiled faintly. "To be honest, Mr. Malfoy, you have no choice in this matter. Well you do, but it is a choice I am sure you will not make. You either go along with the Ministry's mandate or you go back to Azkaban. It is as simple as that."

"Are you telling me I have no choice in who I am placed with?" He didn't even bother to hide the sneer that touched his lips.

"That is exactly what I am saying. Sign and be placed in the home of your rehabilitator or go back to jail. That is the only choice you have." She picked up the quill again and he snatched it from her hand rather roughly. By the time he was done signing his name, the new quill she had just purchased the day before was rendered useless.

Instead of being angered by his display she looked rather pleased with herself. She obviously was enjoying her job more than she should. If only he knew why.

"So, Mr. Malfoy. I expect you in my office bright and early Monday morning, ready to be taken to your new home for the year. Once we are there I will go over the rules of what is expected of you."

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from speaking exactly what was in his mind. "I expect I will be placed with a family?"

She smirked, one that put his too shame. "No, you are being placed with only one Muggleborn."

"And may I ask who this Mud-Muggleborn is?"

He didn't miss the narrowing of her eyes at his almost slip up. "Hermione Granger."

His eyes closed and his stomach clenched. 'Anyone, but her,' he thought to himself.

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Hermione Granger took a peek out her living room window before beginning to pace the room again. She had been nervously pacing and fidgeting for the last hour as she waited for the caseworker and her ward to arrive.

Of all the wizards in Britain she just had to be stuck with Lucius Malfoy. The man was insufferably arrogant and she didn't know how she was going to be able to live with him. She already knew to expect a difficult year. It was going to be a struggle from day one, but she was tough and she had to remember that she had a wand and he didn't. Plus, the safe guards the ministry put in place should he become violent in any way.

She had a feeling he would be on his best behavior in regards to harming her. She knew he did not want to go back to Azkaban, but once he found out her plans for him…well, she knew he would not be too pleased.

She jumped when someone knocked upon her door. She sighed deeply before gathering her courage. She had to show no fear, lest he be given a weapon to use against her.

She opened the door with a warm smile in place. "Miss Wippersnap, how nice it is to see you again," Hermione said as she extended her hand.

"Miss Granger." She nodded in turn. She motioned to Lucius who stood back, a scowl in place. "I trust you are all set to have Lucius move in?"

"Ah, yes, yes I am. I have his room all set." She motioned for them to come in and follow her.

Lucius looked around at his new home and sneered. Her house was very…Muggle. She was a witch, for God's sake; shouldn't she try and live that way?

He glanced into her kitchen as they past, noting the Muggle appliances and wondering if he was going to be forced to use them.

He followed the women as they entered a long hallway and then into a small bedroom. A single-sized bed covered in a dark green duvet, desk with a hard back wooden chair, small dresser and side table was all that was in the room.

"I am to stay in your broom cupboard?" Lucius asked in distaste.

"I am sorry, Mr. Malfoy, but this is not your manor. This is a perfectly fine room and you will be thankful to have it." Miss Wippersnap said with a warning tone. "After all, it is larger than a cell in Azkaban," she reminded him.

Lucius inclined his head and walked toward the bed and sat down.

Hermione stood still in shock. She was not used to a silent Lucius. Any other time and he would have come back with a scathing remark. The threat of Azkaban worked wonders for his disposition.

Suddenly a loud bark startled the guests and Hermione laughed as a large auburn colored dog came bounding into the room. It went directly to Lucius and laid its head on his knee. "Dogue de Bordeaux," Lucius said in an almost soft voice. He obviously had a love for dogs. "What is his name?" he asked Hermione as he pet the dog gently.

"Etienne."

"Etienne is a fine name for so fine a dog,"

Hermione couldn't believe the change in Lucius. He looked almost…nice. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as she thought.

"Well, you seem to have everything well in hand, Miss Granger, so I will leave you to it." Miss Wippersnap gave Hermione a knowing smile and left.

At first, Hermione just stood in the same spot watching Lucius as he softly talked to Etienne. He was a different person with her animal than he had ever been with anyone else that she knew of.

Lucius felt her watching him and he chose not to acknowledge it. At least not where she could see. He couldn't look her in the eye because he was afraid she would see everything he was trying to hide.

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Hermione lay awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking over what the morning would bring. She wondered what Lucius' reaction would be when he discovered what was expected of him, how he was going to feel about learning to do things the Muggle way.

She had decided that he needed to see how they lived so that he could appreciate their actual brilliance. Magic made most things too easy.

Would her plan actually work? Could he be taught to appreciate that which he had despised for most of his life? Could a leopard finally change its spots?

She turned onto her side and let loose a heavy sigh. It was going to be a tough year, but she felt that maybe, just maybe, this was meant to be.

She sat up as she looked over at her alarm clock and groaned softly. It was five a.m. and she still had yet to sleep.

She climbed from her bed and slipped on her robe and padded bare foot out of her room.

She glanced in Lucius' room, the sound of deep even breathing telling her he was sound asleep.

She continued on and made her way into the kitchen, deciding to start her day as she knew there was no way she was going to sleep.

Once she had a pot of coffee started she began to take out the fixings for a large breakfast. She hoped to start the day off right with Lucius and knew a nice meal was one way to achieve this. Of course, it was Lucius, so who knew if it would work.

By the time six a.m. came around she had a veritable banquet prepared.

Lucius stumbled into the kitchen wearing only a pair of black silk drawstring sleep pants, his hair mussed and his eyes hazy. Hermione felt her heart rate pick up its pace as she stared at him. She had always thought him good looking but who knew he could look so mouth watering.

A corner of his mouth twitched with amusement at her open ogling of his body. She felt her face heat up and she turned toward the coffee pot to try and hide her embarrassment at being caught staring. "W-would you like coffee or shall I prepare tea?"

"Coffee is fine, Miss Granger. I see you have prepared an adequate breakfast or did your house-elf do all this?"

"You know I do not own house-elves Mr. Malfoy. I…"

"Lucius, please," he cut her off.

"Lucius," she conceded. "I do not own house-elves. In my home most things are done the Muggle way. While you are here you will do things the Muggle way also."

Lucius actually felt his jaw unhinge and drop to his feet. There was no way in all of Hades that he would lower himself to do as she proposed.

Hermione smiled in amusement at his lack of refinement. He looked almost cute as he stood there in shock at her announcement. "Oh, Lucius, do close your mouth before you swallow a fly."

He gathered back his wits and closed his mouth with a snap of his teeth. His jaw tightened as he fought to keep his scathing remarks to himself. She had to list any and all unkind reactions or remarks when she wrote her report at the end of each month. If he was well behaved for six months straight he was allowed his wand and the freedom to perform very basic magic. He was determined to accomplish this no matter what she threw his way.

Breakfast was consumed in uncomfortable silence, neither one knowing what to say to the other. Hermione had thought to go over the rules with him, but thought better of it for now.

After they were both finished eating Hermione began to clear the table. Lucius stood and was going to head to his room, but she stopped him. "Time to learn to clean dishes the Muggle way." She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from giggling.

She filled the sink with hot water and soap and left him to wash as she put the leftover food into containers and into the fridge. It was almost comical seeing him up to his elbows in suds; she couldn't wait to see him tackle other tasks.

He was not pleased in the least about having to do menial tasks, but he was left with little choice. He couldn't imagine the rest of his life without magic, so he simply had to grin and bear it, thank Merlin his fellow wizards were not here to witness this humiliation.

After the kitchen was clean Hermione sent him to get dressed and ready for the next set of chores she had set aside for him.

When he was ready she handed him a list of what needed to be done around the house. He read through and fixed her with a dark look when he came to number five on the list. "You expect me to clean a toilet?"

She smiled brightly at him and nodded. "Well, we will be cleaning the bathroom together. I don't expect you to be a housekeeper and clean my whole house alone. Since you will be staying here a year, you will need to help out. You will be working with me so you can learn how to do these things the Muggle way. We will then split up the chores and have certain things to do on certain days of the week. Understand?"

Lucius let loose a long-suffering sigh. "I do not think this is going to work out, Miss Granger. I have never in my life had to clean anything."

"Then it's as good a time as any to learn." She handed him a bucket full of cleaning supplies and pushed him toward the loo.

This was the utmost humiliation, being on his knees scrubbing a tub and wearing a rubbery pair of yellow gloves. What would his son think of him if he could see him now? What other form of torture did the Mud-Muggleborn have planned for the day?

Hermione had the sink and toilet clean in the time it took Lucius to scrub a third of the tub. "When you have that done Lucius you can mop the floor next. I'm going to get lunch started." She washed her hands before leaving Lucius to his tedious task.

Oh he wished he had his wand right about now. He would just love to send a hex at her arse.

He kept on cleaning until Hermione called to him to come eat lunch. He stood up, his knees aching as he went to the sink to wash his hands. He glanced over at his handy work and allowed a small smile. The tub sparkled as the light from above the sink shone on it. He had done a fine job if he did say so himself. It was almost rewarding to do something himself without the help of magic. Not that he would want to do tasks in this manner for the rest of his life.

He wandered into the kitchen and sat down at the small table, waiting for her to join him before he began to eat.

They sat in silence again as they ate but it wasn't as uncomfortable as that morning.

When he was done, Lucius immediately went to the sink and filled it with hot water and soap and began washing his dishes. He had decided as he ate that he would give all of this a chance. He was being given a second chance here, a chance to live free of Azkaban and a dark, dank cell. Shouldn't he be grateful for this?

What was happening to him?

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A week had passed and Lucius had settled into a routine. Every morning he would clean up after breakfast, then look at the chore list and finish his duties for the day. Afterwards he would take Etienne to the park just down the street and let him run until lunchtime. He really was attached to the large French Mastiff.

He had always loved dogs and this one was the smartest he had ever been around. It made sense though that he would be, being owned by the brightest witch he had ever known.

He paused as that thought crossed his mind. Yes, he had to admit that she was brilliant. She had bested his son after all and parental pride aside, Draco was extremely intelligent. It didn't matter that she was a Mud…damn and blast…Muggleborn. She was still extremely gifted magic wise.

He whistled for Etienne and smiled as the animal lumbered toward him panting. "You have a good run, boy?" Lucius asked as he patted the dog on the head. The dog gave a loud bark and heeled, following the blond wizard up the street.

They walked into the small house and Lucius smiled to himself as he walked into the kitchen to wash up for lunch. Hermione sat at the table, her bare legs stretched out in front of her, feet propped up on another chair. A pair of earphones placed in her ears, her head bobbing to whatever music came from her…what did she call it? An eyepod?

Lucius had to admit she was awfully cute and those legs…they looked silky smooth and he wanted so desperately to touch and see if it was true. His eyes traveled upwards over the dainty pair of shorts, to the tight tank that hugged her upper body, showing off the swell of her breasts. Her hair pulled up into a messy pile of curls upon her head. She was more than cute. She was beautiful and he didn't know why he never noticed before.

She glanced up and gave him a bright smile that caused an ache in his chest. Everyday she did that, smiling at him as though she might actually like him – Lucius Malfoy, ex-Death Eater, who had followed madman intent on death and destruction. A man who wanted to rid the wizarding world of people like her.

"Lunch is almost ready," she declared as she removed the headphones and placed them on the table. She stood and wandered over to the stove and stirred the soup before lowering the flame. He couldn't help letting his eyes wander again. Had he really wanted to hex that arse? It would be a shame to, really. He could imagine grasping onto it as she…he shook his head to try and clear the image from his mind. Where had that come from?

He left the kitchen and went to sit on the sofa. It wouldn't do to start lusting after her. For one thing, he was too old for her and another they didn't like one another…. Wait, that wasn't true. They had gotten on famously this week, which was a complete surprise. Not once since that first day had he wanted to hex her. She had done everything she could to make him feel comfortable in her home.

He jumped when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up into her face and felt the air leave his lungs completely. She was so beautiful as she looked at him with concern in her whiskey colored eyes. He fought the urge to pull her down to him and kiss her senseless. He had to let go of this want he now had for her. It was all wrong.

"Lucius? Are you ok?" she asked, her tone full of concern.

He nodded and stood up, towering over her. "I am just fine, Miss Granger."

"How many times must I ask you to call me Hermione?" she asked with a smile.

He inclined his head. "Hermione," he conceded. "I am fine. Is lunch ready?"

She nodded and motioned for him to follow. He kept his eyes above her head this time. It would not do to look over her body again, that only caused problems he did not need at this time.

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It had been two months since Lucius had been brought to Hermione's home. She was still amazed at how well he had adjusted to everything. She had been so sure that it would be hard living with him and putting up with him.

Amazingly enough, they had been getting along very well. They had even taken to engaging in friendly debates at night while they ate their dinner and afterward they would curl up on the couch and watch movies together. Lucius would ask question after question during the films but she found it didn't bother her in the slightest. It was a chance for him to learn more about Muggles.

He would never say it aloud, but he found them fascinating. He was amazed at the things they had come up with without the use of magic. He wasn't as enthralled as Arthur Weasley, though he came awfully close.

The one thing that amazed her more than anything else was her own reaction to him. She found herself more often than not studying him. Studying the way his eyes changed color with each of his moods, the way he savored his wine before swallowing, how he smelled right after he had a shower. Merlin, she even noticed the way his hair shone in the sun when they took Etienne to the park for a run.

She knew it was wrong, the way she felt, but it was hard not to. She had discovered a whole new side of Lucius Malfoy and she had to admit it was a side she liked. In fact, she had taken to dreaming about him at night and her dreams went on the side of erotic, to say the least. Many times she had awoken to find herself sweat slicked and aroused to the point of having to touch herself to relieve the ache.

During the day was almost as bad. She often found herself daydreaming about a life with him. The way they spent their days together was almost like living the life of a married couple. Domestic bliss with a Death Eater was not a way of life she would ever have considered, but that is exactly what she found.

It wasn't right that she should be this happy with him and yet, she was. She was happy to have Lucius in her life. It had been ages since she had felt this level of completeness. When he was near, she felt safe and dare she say it? She felt as though she had finally found that missing piece to the puzzle that was her life.

Even now as they sat eating their breakfast she couldn't help but study him. The way he ate, the aristocratic way he wiped at the corners of his mouth with his napkin.

She also couldn't help but admire him each morning, as he would come in for a cup of coffee, wearing only his sleep pants. It was the only time she saw him with sleep tousled hair and she had to admit he always looked sexy as hell. What she wouldn't give to wake up just once wrapped in his strong arms.

She mentally chastised herself for even daring to have that thought. There was no way in all of Hades that that would ever happen. He was a Pureblood and she a Muggleborn. Even though he had changed, she could not see him ever being with her.

She looked up and found him watching her. She hoped he couldn't perform Legilimens because she didn't want him to ever know just how much she needed him.

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A few more months had past and things were still going smoothly in the little house. They got along well and it seemed as though a solid friendship had formed in a short time.

Lucius was in the kitchen preparing some sort of drink he had read about in one of her cookbooks. He stuck his head out and mentioned that she should go outside and sit on the front porch and enjoy the warm summer day.

She grabbed a book and made her way out to sit on the porch swing. It really was a nice day and should be appreciated fully. She was a few pages into her book when Lucius came out with a pitcher and two glasses.

He poured them each a drink, handing her a glass before sitting next to her. He set the swing in motion, the soft sway calming.

He was beginning to like the way things were. They had settled into an easy friendship, almost a partnership in the way they conducted their everyday life. Everything was shared and things went more smoothly than he'd anticipated.

He was starting to like learning to do things the Muggle way. She had been right that magic made some things too easy. He felt accomplished when he learned to do something right -proud even.

He had to admit to a few moments of embarrassment. He smiled inwardly at the memory of his first attempt at baking. He had made the mistake of wishing out loud for a chocolate cake. She had brought out the cookbook and gathered the ingredients and told him to simply follow the directions. By the time he was done the kitchen looked as though a hurricane had blown through. Hermione had walked in and immediately doubled over laughing. She had conjured a mirror and he had stared in horror at his flour-covered reflection. It was across his cheeks, in his hair and his black silk shirt.

As he wiped at his cheeks he started to snicker and then soon he too was doubled over laughing. It had felt wonderful to give into the mirth and he had felt a bit of the wall he had built around himself start to crumble.

She was breaking down that wall a bit every day. She made him feel welcome and wanted in her home. She shared everything of herself with him. She treated him with kindness that was not forced, but given freely.

She never laughed at him when he made a mistake. She simply took him by the hand and calmly explained how to do it the right way, even when he became angry. There had been a few times that he had let his anger get the better of him and he had lashed out at her. He sometimes said things that he knew hurt her because he had seen the tears form in her eyes. Still, she never fought back with unkind words or actions. What really surprised him, though, was that she never included those moments in her reports.

She made him look at himself in a whole new light. She made him want to be better than he had ever been before.

"What exactly is this called?" Hermione asked as she took another sip of her drink. "It is very refreshing and delicious."

He turned to her and smiled. "I was hoping you would like it. It is called a mojito. It is made of white rum, sugar, lime, carbonated water and mint. I thought it would be nice to try something new."

Hermione nodded and gave him one of her heart stopping smiles. It caused that ache to form in his chest again and that thought to form in his mind that he had been fighting. That thought that maybe, just maybe, they could have something together.

He sat his drink aside and raised an unsteady hand to cup her cheek, this thumb gently caressing. He leaned closer and brushed his lips gently against hers, then more forcefully. She sat there stiffly for a moment and then she kissed him back, a soft moan escaping her mouth when he ran his tongue over her bottom lip. She opened for him so he could deepen the kiss, his tongue swirling around hers, fighting for dominance.

Her arms came up and wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. He placed one hand against her lower back and the other ran through her curly hair to cup the back of her head and hold her still as he ravished her mouth.

Lucius pulled away first, his forehead resting against hers as they gasped for much needed air. "I should not have done that," he whispered.

Hermione sat back and looked into his silver eyes, seeing the uncertainty clouding them. "And why not, Lucius?"

"I can't want you like this. It's wrong." He turned away from her. "I have no right to want you. I have no right to hope that you could want me." He flinched when she placed her hand on his arm.

"And what if I do? What then?"

He turned back and grabbed her by her upper arms, shaking her as though he hoped that would make her see reason. "You should not, Hermione. It would be foolish of you. I am a very dark man. Look at what I used to be. What I used to believe when it came to people like you."

"Exactly, Lucius. What you usedto be. You are no longer that man. Look at what you did at the end of the war. You gave the information that helped us end it."

He gave a derisive laugh and looked away again. "And why did you think I did it? Do not make me out to be noble when I did it to save my own hide. At the time I could care less about saving others. I gave that information as a means to keep myself from Azkaban."

"Yes, but look at you now. Look at the good it did in the end. I thought for sure that the Ministry had it all wrong when they mandated the rehabilitation act, but look what it has done. I thought I would end up hexing you every which way from Sunday and instead I found myself wanting to be in your company." She slid closer to him again and cupped his cheek in her hand. Their eyes connected again and she could see just how vulnerable he was.

"I can see good things in you, Lucius. Yes, there will always be a part of you that is a little bit dark but I accept every part of you. I don't know why it has happened, can't explain why I have found myself thankful that you are here. For so long I have felt that something was missing in my life, now I know what." He tried to look away and she placed her free hand against his other cheek and held his head in place. "You were missing, Lucius."

He grabbed her hands and pulled them away from his face, holding them tightly in his own. "I can't…" his voice cracked. "I can't be what you need, Hermione." He dropped her hands and stood before turning away and stepping off the porch.

She stood and watched him walk away and off down the road. She would allow him time to himself. She had thinking of her own to do.

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It was late and he knew he should return but he was too afraid to face her after what he had revealed. Certainly she had had time to think over his admission of why he had turned traitor. Surely she would realize just how selfish he was and would re-think wanting him in return.

Narcissa had left him because of his selfishness. She had known his true reasoning for betraying everything they had fought for. She knew he had done it out of fear of returning to Azkaban prison. He had not seen the error of his ways; he was, to put it simply, a coward.

He wandered around until he saw the lights go out in the little house and knew Hermione had retired for the night. He walked back and sat on the porch swing, waiting a bit longer in hopes she would be sound asleep when he went back inside.

He set the swing into a soft sway and laid his head back, his eyes closing as he listened to the sounds of the night.

He felt a calm sort of security when he felt the swing bounce as someone plopped down beside him. He would have sat up, but her warm body pressed along his side and she laid her head against his shoulder.

He moved his arm from between them, wrapped it around her shoulder and pulled her tighter against him. "I don't know why you insist on wanting me, Hermione, but at this moment I don't care." He allowed her to snuggle closer against him as he set the swing to swaying again. Right now he would enjoy the feel of her in his arms and tomorrow he would do what needed to be done to push her away.

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Several days later, Hermione had a plan in the works. She knew what Lucius was about and she would be damned if she allowed him too continue on in such a manner.

She knew he was determined to push her away and, in a way, she understood why. What Lucius didn't understand was that she wasn't going to give him up without a fight; not now that she finally had what she had always wanted.

She had decided that she would drive him crazy until he finally relented and admitted he could not do without her. As she stood at the stove making breakfast he wandered in looking sexy as always.

He sat down at the table and she poured him a cup of coffee, making sure to touch his hand with her own as he took the cup from her hand. He jumped a bit at the contact and she smirked inwardly at the reaction.

Once the food was done cooking, she fixed them each a plate. She sat hers down and then placed his in front of him. She reached out a hand and pushed his hair behind each ear, her fingers gently brushing his cheek as she withdrew her hand, a small hiss escaping his lips.

'So far, so good,' she thought as she sat down in her chair.

The meal was silently consumed, as Lucius had decided to live his life in mostly silence now. There were moments when he did speak, saying things so cruel as to hurt her. He was determined that she would hate him in the end.

She knew he did not mean a word he said but she had played along in the beginning. Now though, she intended to push back and it was going to turn into a different kind of game.

As he filled the sink with hot water and soap, she started clearing the table. As she placed the dirty dishes in the sink, she pressed her front to his back as close as possible. She thought she heard a moan, but she acted as though she hadn't heard. She continued to touch him as much as she could and by the time the kitchen was clean she was very aroused. And she knew he was affected, too, by the uncomfortable way he walked out of the kitchen to go get ready for the day, which pleased her. The plan was working so far.

They went about their day as usual – well, what passed for usual for the last few days. He hardly spoke a word to her, except for the moment he had lashed out at her because his favorite shirt was still not washed. It was her turn to do the laundry and she had purposely forgotten to include it in the wash.

She walked up to him and touched his cheek with a gentle caress. "I'm sorry, Lucius. I must have missed it." He leaned into her touch at first, until he remembered himself and placed a sneer on his lips. "You would do well to remember the next time. I seem to be able to do my share impeccably and you can't even do a halfway decent job." He had stormed away and went to his room, making sure to slam the door behind him.

She had not been hurt in the least. In fact, she had walked toward the kitchen, a smirk worthy of a Malfoy upon her lips. She was getting to him and she knew it, if the look of bliss upon his face at her touch was any indication.

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Lucius lay upon his bed in complete agony. He was so aroused by the thought of her that it bordered on painful. All day he had had to suffer through her touching him whenever and wherever she could. She was trying to torture him and bloody hell had she ever succeeded.

He sat up, throwing his feet over the side of the bed and stood up, walking over to look out his window. The moon was full, its soft glow caressing his face as he contemplated his life.

For so many years he had lived his life hating. Hating his father who could show nothing but disappointment no matter how well he did, hating Muggleborns because he was taught that they were beneath his regard and therefore should be disposed of, hating the fact that he was married to his wife because it was required of him.

So many times he had wished for something better and, now that he had it, he was pushing it away. He let a small laugh escape him as he thought of what he had been doing these last few days. Was it really so bad that a wonderful woman wanted him?

He wandered back over to his bed and sat on the end as he allowed himself to really think over the state of things as they were now. Hermione now knew why he had traded sides and it seemed she still cared for him. She had even said that the reason wasn't important; that what mattered was how things had turned out in the end.

He stood from his bed and walked out his bedroom. His intended path was the porch, but he found himself outside her bedroom door and he hesitated a moment before opening it.

He heard the soft sound of her even breathing and he knew she was sound asleep, which made what he needed to do that much easier. He sat down on the edge of her bed and simply watched her. She was so lovely and he couldn't help but want to kiss her. He knew he shouldn't and yet the need to do so was causing an ache in his chest. He leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers. She shifted a bit, a soft moan escaping her and he froze as he waited to see if her eyes would open.

When she settled and her breathing went back to normal he exhaled a soft sigh of relief. He needed to tell her something, knowing it was cowardly to do so when she was asleep, but he did not have the courage to tell her when she was awake.

He sat with his back straight and sighed heavily, steeling himself. "Hermione, I know I said it was wrong to want you, but now I am starting to see that it is wrong to push you away," he started out softly.

He continued in a stronger voice, as he told her of his life up until the Ministry mandate and how he had hoped beyond hope that he would not be placed with her.

"Ever since I saw you out on the battlefield, fighting beside Potter, I could not stop thinking about you. You were so brave, so fierce in your determination to help rid the Wizarding world of the Dark Lord that I found myself entranced by you. You proved to most of the Death Eaters, myself included, that blood status mattered little. You were amazing as you cast spells to defend yourself and any nearby. And you proved that, despite being a Mud-Muggleborn, you were – are – a very powerful witch.

"At first, I was angry at myself for being so enthralled with you. Then when I learned I was to be placed in your home I was afraid." He paused for a moment to make sure she was still asleep. He noticed her breathing pattern had changed and he knew she had been listening the whole time. "I know you are awake, Hermione."

She opened her eyes and sat up, one hand coming out to run through his hair and cup the back of his neck. She leaned forward as she pulled him closer, their mouths meeting halfway and he moaned when they made contact. Her lips were so soft and she tasted amazing. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she opened for his demanding kiss.

He placed one hand against her back and the other slid into her mass of curls. He gently laid her back against the mattress, their lips never parting. He lay down alongside her, his hand leaving her hair to run along her side and down until he reached the hem of her gown. He raised it slowly, his hand caressing up her thigh and over her hip. She moaned into his mouth and he pulled away for a moment to look into her eyes. "Are you sure about this?" he asked softly, his eyes searching hers.

She smiled up at him, the smile that made his chest ache and his heart to pound harder within his chest. "I want you, Lucius. I want to make love with you."

He growled as he pushed up her gown until he could pull it all the way off and throw it aside. She was completely naked and he allowed himself to look her over. She was more beautiful than his fantasies had ever depicted her and he felt himself harden in anticipation.

He lowered his head and took one of her rosy tipped nipples into his mouth. She moaned deeply, her hand grasping a handful of blond hair as she arched her back, pushing her breast tighter against his mouth. He suckled at first one breast, than moved on to worship the other in equal measure.

One hand lazily caressed along her side and down her thigh and back up again until it rested against her core, one finger gently parting her folds to run along the sensitive flesh. She sighed, her hips bucking against his hand.

He slipped his middle finger inside her, pushing in and out slowly a few times before adding another.

She pulled at his hair as her hips lifted in rhythm to match that of his hand. Her head thrashed from side to side, her groans and gasps getting louder the closer she came to orgasm. Lucius lifted his head, his fingers plunging inside her faster and faster. He watched as she came apart, a loud scream wrenched from her as pleasure washed over her. Her breathing was ragged, her cheeks flushed and a thin sheen of sweat covered her body and he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

He pulled himself up and rested between her spread thighs, his mouth once again taking hers in a deep kiss. He raised himself up on his elbows to hover over her before thrusting forward, sheathing himself completely in her warmth.

Hermione's mouth left his as she threw her head back and groaned in ecstasy.

He started out in a slow torturous rhythm, the feeling of finally being inside her more wondrous than he had ever imagined. He wanted to draw it out, savor it, for as long as he could.

She raised her hips in synch with his movements, her hands running up and down his back, pleas for him to take her harder and faster falling freely from her lips.

He picked up his pace, pounding into her, grunting with each forward motion of his hips. Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his lower back as she fought to keep up with him.

They both crested at the same time, their yells of completion melding together as they collapsed upon the bed in sated bliss.

They lay tangled together as their hearts and breathing slowed to a steady rhythm. Once Lucius had his breath back he rolled off her and onto his back, reaching out to pull her closely against him.

They lay peacefully for a while until Hermione chose to break the silence to say what she had longed to for sometime. "I love you."

Lucius stiffened beside her, his hand ceasing in its path up and down her back.

"You don't have to return my sentiment, Lucius. I just wanted you to know how I feel." She tried to sit up so she could look into his face, but he held her tightly against him.

"We'll talk later, Hermione, right now I need some sleep."

She chose to remain quiet, as she knew it would only make things worse if she chose to continue. She just hoped, once he had time to think over her words, that he would reciprocate. It was a small hope at best but she hung onto it nonetheless.

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The next morning, Hermione awoke and reached out for Lucius, but he was already gone. She sat up and climbed from her bed and directly into the shower.

Once she was clean and dressed she went directly into the kitchen to start breakfast. She found a note taped to the full coffee pot.

_Hermione,_

I have already eaten and am taking Etienne to the park for a long run. When I return I beg of you not to mention what happened last night. I don't think I could bear to see the hurt in your eyes when I had to tell you that last night would be the last. We cannot be together and I think you know that as much as I do. What we shared was wonderful and I will always remember it, but it is not meant to be. Please, let's pretend it didn't happen and return to the easy friendship we have found. I don't know what else to say so I will end this letter here.

_Lucius_

She crumpled up the parchment and let go a loud sob. How could he do this? How could he give up so quickly? Perhaps he had been right; perhaps he truly was a coward.

She had tried, she could honestly say she had and she knew that it would be pointless to continue.

She made herself some toast and a cup of coffee, but she barely took in half.

Her stomach was in knots as she listened to the front door open and Etienne to lumber into the kitchen to greet her. She climbed from her chair and knelt down in front of him to kiss the top of his head and scratch behind his ears.

She froze when she heard the sound of Lucius' boots thud against the tiled floor. She stood slowly as she gathered herself together, trying so hard to hold in her tears, but once she looked into his face, a sob escaped her and she fled to her room.

He stood in the same spot for a long time, his heart breaking at the anguish he had seen in her eyes, but he knew he was doing the right thing. Wasn't he?

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The rest of their time together was spent in silence. They continued with the everyday routines they had grown accustomed too, but once that was done they would go their separate ways.

Lucius would spend his time alone outside taking long walks until he knew Hermione was in her room for the night.

Hermione would spend most of her time absorbed in a book or would leave to spend time with her friends. They knew something was wrong and assumed correctly that it was Lucius, but not the fact that she was in love with him and he didn't return her feelings.

They continued on this way until, finally, his year was up. He was now free to live his life anyway he chose. His wand was returned to him and his bracelet removed.

It felt wonderful, that feeling of magic coursing through his veins. It was short lived, however. As soon as he was back in his manor, the feeling of loneliness rushed in on him and he felt smothered by the sheer magnitude of it.

What good was all of this if he had to enjoy it alone?

Day turned into weeks, weeks into months and he had yet to enjoy his life away from Hermione's little house. He often found himself doing little chores around the manor without the help of magic. The house-elves were beside themselves when they found him doing things that were their job.

He soon noticed they worked double time to get things done faster so he would have no chance of doing them himself.

He soon buried himself in his business dealings, trying to forget her. At night though, she haunted his dreams and he would awaken with an empty heart and an ache in his chest. Gods, he missed her.

His son noticed his melancholy and asked him about it, but he refused to give voice to what was bothering him, what he longed for.

Four months had passed when the very person he longed for rushed into his study and slammed the door hard behind her. "How dare you enter my home in such a manner," he sneered.

"Oh shut up, Lucius. How dare _you _walk away from me and never return. How dare _you _come into my life and show me what it was I was missing. How dare _you _make love to me and then throw me to the side like I was a bag of rubbish. I gave you my heart, my love, and you pushed me away," she paused as her voice began to crack and tears poured unheeded down her cheeks. "How dare you make me love you to the point that I am nothing without you." She began to sob in earnest, as he stood motionless behind his desk, afraid to approach her and pull her tightly against him.

"Tell me you love me, Lucius, please."

He wanted to because, Merlin help him, he did. She had become everything to him in their time together. He had never felt as complete in his life as he did when he was with her.

"Please, Lucius. Tell me you love me."

He stepped out from behind his desk and walked up to her until they were toe to toe. He reached out an unsteady hand and ran his fingers down her cheek. "I don't deserve you, Hermione," he responded, his voice shaky with emotion.

"Yes you do. You paid the price for your selfish intentions, Lucius. In fact, you pay everyday by punishing yourself."

He ran his fingers through her hair and cupped the back of her neck. He held her steady as he leaned down and captured her lips with his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe as he deepened the kiss. He knew in that moment that he couldn't go back to being alone.

He pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes and saw just how much she loved him. He saw that she was willing to forget his past, his cowardice. She didn't care that he had redeemed himself for selfish reasons, just that he had.

"I l-love you, Hermione."

She let go another sob, but this time it was for happy reasons.

They held each other for a long time there in his study. Each not wanting to let go for fear that all was just a dream and that perhaps they would awaken and be alone again.

Not long after the reunion, Lucius let his son know that the Manor was now all his. He had decided that his true home was in the little house with Hermione and Etienne.

Two months after he had moved in, Lucius proposed to Hermione. Six months later they were married in the park down the street, just close family and friends in attendance.

Lucius never thought he would ever find any sort of happiness, but now he had it in spades. He had paid the price and now he was reaping the benefits.


End file.
